Dana, I like your Jung summary of lowliness the best ---- "Not being connected or understood." Not feeling like you belong or that people would miss you if you were gone. This helps narrow the overall focus on "If I just contort myself and find the right way, my biggest problems would be over and I would be loved...."

As I get older I am seeing the need for a partner or organization having your back (sometimes literally) and keeping you connected and supported.

The best breakthroughs I have found is finding the few institutuons where you see people regulary and there is a focus on community. The best I have found is taking college classes now that I am near retirement and working part-time. Not the end all solutions of the fear of :"getting old alone" (worse than dying alone I thing) but atleast I find some peace and distraction.

The movie :The Intern" with Robert Di Nero and Anne Hathway gives a positive spin to this search. Di Nero goes through all the things he tried once he retired and his wife died. He found that travelling the world was good except for the huge disappointment he felt when he came home alone again. He summarized the only thing that he felt that worked: "Keep Moving."

That takes guts and energy that is not always there.

So I keep moving with my microsteps in hope that my worst fears are managed by taking risks and reaching out no matter how hard it is.

Thanks for your reply and for Stephan's inspiring article.

One day at a time,

MarkfromBoston